The political classes of Washington, both Democrats and Republicans, are in a tizzy over this week's Time magazine report on Guantanamo Bay's Prisoner 063 -- the terrorist who would've been the 20th hijacker, but was turned back at the border.

Republican Sen. Chuck Hagel of Nebraska was among those criticizing such metholds [sic].

"It's not appropriate," Hagel said Sunday on CNN's "Late Edition." "It's not at all within the standards of who we are as a civilized people, what our laws are.

...

Hagel said such treatment should offend the sensibilities of "any straight-thinking American, any straight-thinking citizen of the world."

What's "not appropriate"?

During the period covered by the logbook, Time reported, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld approved 16 additional interrogation techniques for use on certain detainees.

Afterward, interrogators began their sessions with (Mohammed) al-Qahtani at midnight and awakened him with dripping water or Christina Aguilera music if he dozed off, the magazine article reported.

The magazine said the techniques approved by Rumsfeld included "standing for prolonged periods, isolation for as long as 30 days, removal of clothing, forced shaving of facial hair" and hanging "pictures of scantily clad women around his neck."

You've got to be kidding me. What a bunch of pansies -- every single one of them. This isn't torture. This isn't even abuse (except maybe for the Christina Aguilera music).

What's really sick is the self-flagellation going on by these idiot politicians. Seriously. I endured harsher treatment getting into my college fraternity. Heck, I think my mother was in violation of all sorts of international laws against torture when she used to dump ice cubes into my bed to get me up when I was growing up.

You've had congressional hearings over steroids in sport -- but nothing on rookie hazing. Remember Kyle Denney?

Cleveland Indians pitcher Kyle Denney won't complain about having to dress like a cheerleader again. The white go-go boots that went with the outfit might have prevented a bullet from seriously injuring his leg.

The rookie was hit in the right calf by a shot that came through the side of the Indians' bus in Kansas City late Wednesday as the team traveled to the airport after a victory over the Royals. The bullet caused only a flesh wound, probably because of the tough leather of the knee-high boot, Denney and his trainers said.

All of Cleveland's rookies were decked out in outrageous outfits on the bus, part of a hazing ritual. An Oklahoma native, Denney said his teammates told him to dress as a USC cheerleader because the Sooners are ranked second behind Southern California in The Associated Press college football poll.

Pictures of scantily-clad women are nothing -- wait until Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld starts ordering terrorists to wear go-go boots.

How about Bill Walton? The Helix High and UCLA alum likes to tell the story of how he showed up for his sophmore season at UCLA with a beard -- in violation of legendary coach John Wooden's grooming guidelines. Wooden gave Walton an ultimatum -- and what ended up happening was a "forced shaving."

Where was the outrage from the mainstream media then?

Seriously, not a mark was apparently left on this guy. They had a medic checking the guy three times a day.

These politicians should be ashamed of themselves. This guy is a terrorist. He would love to kill every American -- including these moron senators, their kids, grandkids and pet dog fifi. And these elected officials are decrying having water poured over terrorists' heads.

The main advantage the Republican Party has nowadays is a public perception that the GOP is serious about keeping America safe. When Democrats start whining over a big nothing like this they reinforce that perception. When Republicans start with the chest-beating, they not only prove themselves fools, but they hurt the party too.

As for Time magazine, there were two ways to spin this -- no abuse but tough interrogations taking place, or; anything other than putting terrorists on couches and asking them about their childhood is "torture."

This story is about respect for human rights and defending America from terrorists. Time got it wrong -- there is nothing in that report worth getting outraged about.