That's how former UPI reporter, now columnist, Helen Thomas has been described by someone whose job I would like to have.

I generally don't read her columns, because they're mostly useless at best and a steaming pile of dung at worst.

This week's column is somewhere in the middle -- it's useless crap.

A tsunami has recently hit TV network news and it may never be the same.

A tsunami? A killer tidal wave like the one that left hundreds of thousands dead in Southeast Asia?

The retirement of a bunch of millionaire news readers is somehow comparable to the wrath of nature that left several countries devastated?

Thomas touches on the CBS News fake documents scandal, but only in the most euphemistic fashion.

Rather's departure was hastened under pressure in the aftermath of a flawed broadcast about President George W. Bush's shaky record in the Texas Air National Guard.

Fake but accurate! I love the "flawed broadcast" description. Using obviously fraudulent documents in order to hurt the re-election chances of the president of the United States is a "flawed broadcast."

I suppose that's better than the dean of Columbia University's journalism school setting the principle of getting both sides of a story as the ceiling, rather than the floor, when it comes to acceptable journalism.