Media mogul and nutjob Ted Turner has a ranch on which he raises animals which emit a lot of greenhouse gases. However, he does not propose to do away with his herds to save the planet. No, he predicts doom and gloom and humans resorting to cannibalism to survive once the Earth warms.

Channeling my inner zombie, I'd call dibs on Ted Turner's brains, but it's pretty apparent he doesn't have any.