Plant tongue firmly in cheek

Matthew Hoy
By Matthew Hoy on July 19, 2004

European "researchers" are claiming that the current worldwide warming trend can be attributed to the fact that the Sun is hotter.

A study by Swiss and German scientists suggests that increasing radiation from the Sun is responsible for recent global climate changes.

Sami Solanki, the director of the renowned Max Planck Institute for Solar System Research in Gottingen, Germany, who led the research, said: “The Sun has been at its strongest over the past 60 years and may now be affecting global temperatures.

“The Sun is in a changed state. It is brighter than it was a few hundred years ago and this brightening started relatively recently — in the last 100 to 150 years.”

Global warming skeptics will see the new information as a vindication for their belief that the increasingly higher temperatures are not a result of any human action. They would be wrong.

Why?

Because a secret program developed and executed by the Bush administration has been secretly been launching missiles containing hydrogen to the Sun in an effort to raise the temperature. The higher Sun temperature boosts global warming for the benefit of Halliburton. As global warming increases, temperatures in the northern climes become cooler, necessitating the purchase of more heating oil.

This is also why Bush invaded Afghanistan, so that Unocal could build a natural gas pipeline from which hydrogen could be extracted to shoot into the Sun.

/remove tongue from cheek

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