I always thought National Review Online editor Jonah Goldberg's jabs at Alec Baldwin were funny, but I never thought the cracks about Baldwin eating lead paint chips like a teenager eats Doritos were actually true.

Baldwin was in Florida today whining about how the state's election reforms just weren't enough. Apparently Baldwin wants a perfect voting system, i.e. one in which it's just not possible to vote Republican.

Gov. Jeb Bush made a crack that Baldwin was supposed to be overseas. Baldwin, like many actors, directors and miscellaneous Hollywood types had vowed to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president. Now Baldwin claims he must have been misquoted.

"I never made that statement, but you can tell Gov. Bush to rest assured that I'm not going to leave the country because we have to get him out of office and we have to get his brother out of office in 2004. We're not resting until we get that done."

Even if he had made the statement, Baldwin said there was still no reason to leave.

"Bush wasn't elected, he was selected - selected by five judges up in Washington who voted along party lines," Baldwin said.

Wonder what kind of cheese Baldwin wants to go with his whine. Besides, the complaint just shows how little contact Baldwin has with reality. Party lines? If by that he means that Supreme Court justices are beholden to the political party of whatever president nominated them, then he's way off.

William Rhenquist -- Richard Nixon (R)
John Paul Stevens -- Gerald Ford (R)
Sandra Day O'Connor -- Ronald Reagan (R)
Antonin Scalia -- Reagan
Anthony Kennedy -- Reagan
David Souter -- George H.W. Bush (R)
Clarence Thomas -- Bush
Ruth Bader Ginsberg -- Clinton (D)
Stephen Breyer -- Clinton

By this math, if they all voted along party lines, it would've been 7 justices giving the election to Bush, not five.

Now I'm asking myself why I even went through the exercise of writing out who nominated each justice. Anyone with half a brain knows they never vote along "party" lines. Stephens, nominated by Ford, is the most liberal member of the bunch. Souter, nominated by Bush, is a lefty too.

The Supreme Court had to step in to apply some fairness to the Florida election because that state's supreme court justices were voting strictly along party lines. Making rulings in flagrant violation of the law to give Gore every chance to "win" an election which, by the rules, he lost.

Alec, shaddup!