Hoystory

This post has been updated!

Who wins when a 2001 Ford Escort and a 2002 Chevy Cavalier collide?

It’s a trick question, you say? No one wins when those two similar-sized cars collide.

Wrong.

Yes, it’s not like tractor-trailer vs. motorcycle, where the motorcyclist is lucky if the semi-driver even notices that he’s been de-biked. But in this case there is a winner and a loser.

Tuesday, on my way into work I accidentally rear-ended a Ford Escort in my Chevy Cavalier. My fault. The light turned green, everyone started going forward, everyone stopped for some unknown reason– except me.

Speed at impact: Less than 10 mph. I put it at about 7 mph.

Result: The back bumper of the Ford shatters into a dozen pieces; the license plate falls off. The front bumper of my Chevy crunches inward, the hood buckles, the air bags (both driver and passenger — although no one was in the passenger seat) go off and the windshield shatters.

Endgame: The Ford drives off. The Chevy is totaled.

You read that right — a 7 mph crash totaled my car.

I thought I was driving around an economy car. It turns out I was driving around a couple of airbags. Once those airbags went off, all that was left was scrap metal.

So, for Christmas this year, I’m going to be getting a car payment! A used car payment to be exact.

At this point it seems like an opportune time to bang the tip jar, which has been renamed the new, used-car jar for the time being. Links to the Amazon Honor System and Paypal are in the right sidebar. There’s also a widget down there for those of you who want to get me something for Christmas — because there’s not going to be any self-gifting going on.

Donations will also go to defray the cost of keeping Hoystory running — the site’s Web hosting bill comes due in January.

UPDATE

I just got finished emptying my personal belongings out of the now-totaled car. I talked with the guy who owns the body shop and he expressed shock that the claims adjuster was totalling the car. He also pointed out to me a design issue with the Chevy Cavalier. Apparently the airbag sensor is placed rather high on the car — under the hood as opposed to behind the front bumper. When the hood crumpled in a couple of inches, the air bags went off — unnecessarily. If the sensor had been mounted behind the bumper — which didn’t move much, then the airbags would likely have not gone off and I’d be looking at a $500 deductible and not a new car payment.

UPDATE 2

Welcome Instapunditistas!

Glenn suggested that I put my tip boxes in a more easily-accessible place. Here they are. Thanks to those of you who have donated. I can’t really express how much I appreciate it.