What they knew and when they knew it

Bush administration reveals who had information on Sept. 11 terror attacks -- and didn't warn the public

(Hoystory.com) -- The Bush administration issued a preliminary report today that points the finger of blame for failure to prevent the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks squarely at America's psychics.

"All the information was there, but Mistress Cleo, Dionne Warwick's psychic friends and numerous others failed the American people," President Bush said at a noon press conference.

In a phone interview which cost $3.95 a minute, Mistress Cleo denied the administration's allegations.

"Listen daaarrrlin', I only knew dat dem terrorists would attack Neuva York," Cleo said. "Sophia over at Psychics R Us knew dat somethin baaad would happen in September."

Contacted at Psychics R Us, Sophia acknowledged, at $2.99 a minute, that she felt "bad psychic vibes" in late August, but blamed Esmerelda for missing the specifics.

"She had 9 and 11 among her lucky numbers for the entire month of August -- they weren't lucky -- but the psychic aura she was detecting was loud and clear."

Despite their protestations, Bush said the psychics were primarily to blame.

"Millions of Americans count on psychics to give them guidance in their daily activities," the president said. "Unfortunately, the psychics failed not only the 3,000 people who lost their lives on Sept. 11, but all of America as well."

Acclaimed psychic medium John Edward confirmed Bush's assessment.

"I've contacted hundreds of the Sept. 11 victims in the afterlife who had consulted psychics prior to the terrorist attacks," Edward said. "None of them was given a specific warning by their psychic of what would happen when they went to work that day.

"One woman told me that her psychic had told her to bring her umbrella to work -- but an umbrella can't keep a jumbo jet from raining down on your head."

While critics in Congress focused on intelligence failures by the FBI and CIA, President Bush pointed out that Congress had barred federal agents from using the 1-900 numbers necessary to contact America's psychics.

"Congress needs to allow our intelligence agencies greater freedom to pursue leads wherever they may go," Bush said.

Sen. Richard Shelby, R-Ala, said that he was open to changing the law, but it would require strict oversight.

"We'll want to make sure that they're calling bona fide psychics," said the ranking minority member of the Senate intelligence committee. "But I hear that some of those numbers are used for things other than psychics. So we'll want to watch it closely."